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WEEK ONE
Is There a Negotiator in Your Closet?


The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.
--SHAKESPEARE, JULIUS CAESAR


Conflict seems to be part of the human condition. Regardless of what the issue is, we will find a way to fight over it. In spite of this tendency, human beings have always tried to get along. What is the greatest invention in history: Fire? The wheel? E = mc2? In my view, it is the art of negotiation. Negotiation is about getting along.

Let me give you my definition of negotiation:


Negotiation is the process of overcoming obstacles in order to reach agreement.


What is the primary obstacle? The difference between your position and my position. Human beings invented negotiation to stop ourselves from physically harming each other (or worse) when our respective positions appear to be incompatible. The history of conflict resolution from the last ice age to the present suggests that without the art of negotiation, the human population would be significantly smaller.

The objective of negotiating is to reach agreement. So in one sense, a successful negotiation is one that culminates in agreement. There are times, however, as we will see, when the lack of agreement--an impasse or deadlock--can signal a successful outcome; that is, if we determine that, in this particular instance, an agreement is not in our best interest.

All things considered, I prefer to think of a successful negotiation as one in which at least one of the parties is satisfied with the outcome. Satisfaction is the key element in every successful negotiation. In a traditional adversarial negotiation, such as the sale of a house, the negotiation is successful if you are satisfied. In a cooperative (win-win) negotiation, success occurs when both parties are satisfied.

One point of clarification here. Satisfaction means that you get what you need, not necessarily what you want. What you need and what you want are not always the same thing. You need a car to get to work. You want a Lexus or a Mercedes, but your budget won't stretch that far. A Honda will do the job. So your need is met and you can be satisfied with a Honda.

There is also an important difference between your need and your stated position. Your need is what you must get in order to solve a problem. Your position, on the other hand, is what you say you want. Occasionally, a negotiator may put forth a position that asks for more than she truly needs. Satisfaction occurs when the need is met, not when a position is satisfied. In a negotiation, instead of being sidetracked by positions, it is essential to focus on the other negotiator's needs.


PROFILE OF A NEGOTIATOR

I believe the kind of negotiation we should strive for is one in which both parties achieve satisfaction. What kind of negotiator is able to make this happen? Can we create a profile for the successful negotiator?

Below are the ten traits I've found that successful negotiators tend to have. How many of them do you share?


1. Negotiation Consciousness
We've all heard the phrase "Everything is negotiable." In the world of negotiation, my world, that is literally true. Negotiation consciousness is what I call the mind-set of people who make deals. A person who has high negotiation consciousness tends to be assertive in stating what he wants and challenges everything. And that means everything. You cannot achieve what you want in a negotiation if you are unwilling to challenge the...

 

"Ed Brodow is the King of Negotiators. Negotiation Boot Camp is witty, incisive, instructive, pithy, and chock-full of real-world examples; it shows us how to succeed--not just in negotiations but also in life itself. This is a must-read."

 

"Negotiation Boot Camp is not just another book on negotiating. It should be required reading for people who want to improve their business and personal relationships."

 

"This is THE BOOK for career women who have any trepidation about negotiating. It is easy to read, and filled with everything you need to know about making deals."